27/9/11
Can I ask you something? Why does everyone think that just because she said sorry, everything is okay again? You saw everything, right? You know, I've always wanted friends who understood me and believed me...I never found that friend. And you know, I'm done trying to make them understand and believe me, because it's clearly not going to happen...why the hell should I waste my time on people like that? When I met them, I really thought they would would be everything but all they are is everything that hurts me. I've taken so many risks in my life. I've done some stupid things and to tell you the truth...they've given me thousands of reasons to believe that they are the worst mistakr I've made in my life. I never thought anyone could be so horribly mean...but maybe everything is my fault...maybe I'm the one who makes them want to say those things, maybe it's my fault they left, maybe it's my fault they're not as close anymore, maybe it's my fault for everything. Can I please give up now? I know once I give up I'll never be able to go back...but is this really worth it? Is our friendship worth letting them kill me? I really want my dreams of my career to come true and they do not support it, they are really never going to understand me because they're too busy in their own lives now, I do not know them anymore. I really don't. I'd rather die alone than die in the pain they are putting me through. I'll write later. Bye.
Can I ask you something? Why does everyone think that just because she said sorry, everything is okay again? You saw everything, right? You know, I've always wanted friends who understood me and believed me...I never found that friend. And you know, I'm done trying to make them understand and believe me, because it's clearly not going to happen...why the hell should I waste my time on people like that? When I met them, I really thought they would would be everything but all they are is everything that hurts me. I've taken so many risks in my life. I've done some stupid things and to tell you the truth...they've given me thousands of reasons to believe that they are the worst mistakr I've made in my life. I never thought anyone could be so horribly mean...but maybe everything is my fault...maybe I'm the one who makes them want to say those things, maybe it's my fault they left, maybe it's my fault they're not as close anymore, maybe it's my fault for everything. Can I please give up now? I know once I give up I'll never be able to go back...but is this really worth it? Is our friendship worth letting them kill me? I really want my dreams of my career to come true and they do not support it, they are really never going to understand me because they're too busy in their own lives now, I do not know them anymore. I really don't. I'd rather die alone than die in the pain they are putting me through. I'll write later. Bye.
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