I sent my novel in for self publishing and they said that they loved it. The editiors approved it and they called, saying that my grammar was extremely good and were shocked when I told them that I was still in high school. I was so happy, so excited at the thought of being acknowledged and then I found out the sad part of it. The packages for self publishing are expensive. Alot of money to spend on something my parents weren't sure about. They want to check out the other options. Well, I don't. I don't have time to check out for other things because other publishing houses take months to reply and they only reply if they like the story. If they don't, they dispose of it without giving you the slightest idea whether you made it through or not. I don't want that and I don't want to wait. Writing is what I'm meant to do and I don't have time to waste. Am I finally there? Am I going to take my chance or will I lose it?
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Saturday, 18 August 2012
She is herself.
16th August 2012
The confusion causes pain and weakness. It doesn't hurt that much that i have to keep it a secret. I've kept secrets before. They might be my friends, they might even be my closest friends but I still don't know if it would not bother them or it will cause a ruckus. That isn't why it hurts. It hurts because I was stupid. I was stupid to think she was going to leave us alone. Stupid to believe that she was done playing mind games. Stupid to belive that she'd stay away from the people I love and me. Stupid to not see that he was desprate. Stupid to think I could ever trust anyone but most of all, I feel stupid for actually assuming that this war was over. It is not. It's the beginning of the end. She's caused heart ache, broken friendships, empty promises, lies, back talking, rumors and anyone would be stupid to believe that she actually meant the apology. She can't and will never be sorry because that is who she is. A lying, backstabbing, promise breaking, desperate, attention seeking, heartbrekaing, problem causing loser. She is herself and that is who she is.
The confusion causes pain and weakness. It doesn't hurt that much that i have to keep it a secret. I've kept secrets before. They might be my friends, they might even be my closest friends but I still don't know if it would not bother them or it will cause a ruckus. That isn't why it hurts. It hurts because I was stupid. I was stupid to think she was going to leave us alone. Stupid to believe that she was done playing mind games. Stupid to belive that she'd stay away from the people I love and me. Stupid to not see that he was desprate. Stupid to think I could ever trust anyone but most of all, I feel stupid for actually assuming that this war was over. It is not. It's the beginning of the end. She's caused heart ache, broken friendships, empty promises, lies, back talking, rumors and anyone would be stupid to believe that she actually meant the apology. She can't and will never be sorry because that is who she is. A lying, backstabbing, promise breaking, desperate, attention seeking, heartbrekaing, problem causing loser. She is herself and that is who she is.
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